How do you want to be remembered?

This is called Apotheosis and again, is by Carl White.  I did an internet search to see what Apotheosis means and it is quite interesting, especially given what is in my mind today.

Apotheosis (from Greek ἀποθεοῦν, apotheoun "to deify", in Latin deificatio, "to make divine") is the exaltation of a subject to divine level. The term has meanings in theology, where it refers to a belief, and in art, where it refers to a genre.
In theology, the term apotheosis refers to the idea that an individual has been raised to godlike stature. In art, the term refers to the treatment of any subject (a figure, group, locale, motif, convention or melody) in a particularly grand or exalted manner. (Source: Wikipedia)

I have started researching for my storyline and it is hard not to be influenced by events in the world.  I know that traditionally I write about things that interest me or things I want to learn about. I also seem to write about things I am drawn to, whether I know the reason at the time, or not.

I trust that my story will continue to present itself to me, just as its characters do.  Whether it is about life or death, winning or losing, remembering or forgetting, it all has its own special meaning and impact when combined in its own unique way.

To me, that is the beauty of writing.  We all know there are only so many words in the English language (or whatever language you choose to write in), but there are billions of combinations in which to use them.  It is commonly said there are only 7 stories but it is how we tell them, that makes them unique. Our own personal perspectives, intention and purposeful use of words is what allows us to write our own stories in ways that are meaningful to us.

We hope our words have some impact, yet we cannot predict or control what they mean to others.  We all want to make a difference in this world and leave a legacy to show we were here, that we existed and we cared enough to act.  Is it that desire to be known that drives some to madness? Their search for their own uniqueness driving them to great depths to stand out from the crowd?  Are their dreams so different from ours or it is just their methods?

What are you willing to trade to be remembered? Your soul, your boundaries or that of others? Some surrender their demons, others their humanity. The line between them is often blurred, especially over time and history. Mistakes are forgotten, inaction is forgiven. Judgments reconsidered and marters punished.

We are often asked to write our own obituaries in order to determine what is important to us. Do we elevate ourselves to rise above history and time or just to survive it?

My Inspiration Triangle....

This is another Carl White called Scattering of Osiris... and I love it.  Yes, I realize I have said that before, but I will continue to, because it speaks to me.

Last week I mentioned the various books that called to me, so I have collected them and am reviewing them to see what will resonate.

So.. two of my 3 elements for creation have chosen me... which leaves music remaining for my "perfect storm".... Each piece of my writing has its own soundtrack and I trust this will be the same.  I look forward to hearing the music and having that last part of the puzzle present itself.

What I know I must also do, is prepare myself and my life, to be able to access those parts of me that must be available to write.  I have created a life that supports my writing so my writing can support my life.

I love this part of my life and look forward to it taking its natural role in each and every day...but for now, I have to return to the work that allows me the time and space to create...

But knowing what is going on within me - the creative process, makes me smile and giggle like a child, like I have a secret inside...it may sound silly.... but that is how a good writing day, a good creative day... feels to me... I know.. I am a nerd... but I am ok with that... *lol*

My characters are starting to present themselves....

Today is an interesting day.... the ideas for my next novel are circling and presenting themselves slowly, but clearly.  The voices of the characters are starting to whisper from their shadows and I am excited to hear what they have to say. 

I have been searching through my bookshelves for something that will take hold of me - something my subconscious knew to prepare me about and for, a long time ago, but is only presenting to me now.  As you know I buy books all the time, if they show me the spark of interest, knowing I may not read them for years, but trusting that when the characters want to present themselves, I will find the other stories that they share interests with. This is part of what I love about writing.

I love it when characters force me to learn things I had never even thought of before... Interestingly yesterday I was drawn to these ten books:

Angelina Jolie: Notes from my travels (about her travels as UN Ambassador to Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Pakistan, Cambodia and Ecuador) I have read this book several times and have just recently watched Beyond Borders 3 times... again... *lol* I am curious to see why these goals have been in my mind recently... and are a continued repeat for me... I look forward to this character development.

Fawzia Koofi - Letters to My Daughters ( I was lucky enough to hear her speak a few weeks ago and her message must have obviously stayed with me)

Ashley Judd - All that is Bitter & Sweet (Her Memoir) I have no idea how this fits, but perhaps it is her humanitarian work that I need to learn about for a character.

Sebastian Junger - War (About the trust among men whose survival depends on their committment to each other) I wonder how this is going to fit in.  Traditionally the men I research are the creatures devoid of humanity that cause the problems, not the groups that defend.  This is going to be interesting and I look forward to seeing how this plays with the story and characters.

Clea Koff - The Bone Woman - A forensic anthropologists search for truth in Rwanda, Bosnia, Croatia and Kosovo. I have read this, seen the author in person as well as on tv.  Her message is clear and strong and I wonder what my characters have to do with Clea.

Leszlie Kalli - Kidnapped (A Diary of her 373 days being held in captivity by a leftist guerrilla group in Columbia)  I read this a few years ago and just finished reading about Ingrid Betancourt and her kidnapping/captivity.  I wonder if this is going to be literal or figuratively explored in the story and/or the characters.... time will tell.

Damon Galgut - The Impostor (Secrets, betrayal and racial tension, isolation and revenge in modern day South Africa) No clue... it was on sale for 5.99 with 80% off... and it was a on the spot pick up...curious about this one.  I know I love SA, but curious none the less as to where this will fit.

Terry Gould - Murder Without Borders (Journalists dying for the story in the worlds most dangerous places) My last novel had a journalist covering war stories and his lessons learned during this time - of the best and worst of people.  I guess his voice hasn't yet been heard enough - or any of theirs if they have died to obtain their stories.

Andrew Rice - The Teeth May Smile, but the Heart Does Not Forget (Murder and Memory in Uganda) Someone very close to me was exciled during this time and has just come back into my life. I dont know if this is a personal learning or a character/storyline. This should be interesting - especially as I have such personal vivid accounts from an entire family that was involved.

Christopher Kremmer - The Carpet Wars (A 10 year journey from Kabul to Baghdad along ancient trade routes) I am curious to see if this is about background, filler and detail to add specific, accurate details or a result of my love of the old Kabul... not the regime, the city and humanity itself before it was destroyed.  It was not the city we see now... and someone very special to me used to live there and I have seen the beauty through his eyes.  Perhaps I need to see that beauty again or remind others that it actually existed?

As I mentioned before, I think the research is almost as much fun as the actual writing. The more I learn the more I hear my characters speak. When they go quiet I know I am on the wrong path and need to retrace my steps to see where I have taken a wrong turn.

I have a lot to do between now and September, but I am going to enjoy the process.

Speak with you again soon.... oh, the paining is yet another by Carl White. I love this artist and am an avid collector of his work.

The title of this is "Abandoned" and that is something that I am actually researching for my next novel.  Not the only thing, just part of it.  Sometimes our wants and needs are simple, other times they are more complex and detailed.

Those challenges life creates for us - are the things that push and propel us to move forward, to achieve and be all that we can be.

Somehow we forget to own our own power. I dont know what abandonment has to do with that, but I am sure it is an integral part of our feeling worthy of receiving life and everything within it.  I am still learning how it defines who are and who we become, rather than the reverse.  Then how to let it all go and have our lives be our own, with no self judgement.

What I do know is that we are the only ones capable of freeing ourselves from whatever our past is keeping us tied to.  We take the power back when we make our own choices, for ourselves, not out of fear or pride.

We also need to trust the instincts that we have inside, that we have long ago learned (or been told) to ignore. They are within us for a reason and are our self guides and compass. How else can we get back on track with our own internal compass so affected by others?  How is it we hear those voices louder than our own? Why do others have more authority over us, than we do ourselves?

I am curious where this part of my story will lead... but I am excited to get started on it... see you again soon.

The Gift Writing is to me....

Well, I am back, finally.  The one thing about being so busy with work, is that I haven't had much time to write.  I have to be honest and admit I have felt its loss keenly.  I had no idea how much my personal writing meant to me in general, but to my health overall.  Not having written for a a while and then being faced with overwhelming fullness and anxiousness, I turned to my old friend, who never lets me down. It was then that I realized writing truly is part of who I am and something that I must do. For  myself.  It helps me be who I am. It helps me figure out how I see life. What I want to do within my opportunities and what I want to contribute externally.

Writing helps me focus and clarify what matters to me, what is important in my life, my goals, my interests and so much more.  What it also does is help me clear out the space that is being occupied within my mind with useless clutter.  Somehow writing allows me to bypass all of that and sweep it out in one fell swoop.  I have no idea how it happens, but I love the process and have used it often enough to have complete faith in it.  I could go on, but for me, that is one of the greatest gifts I can give myself and now that I have realized it, I will continue to enjoy this gift.  I hope you do the same.